The 10 Steps to Urban Emergency Survival

So, as we've established, I live in a city. I've been through a hurricane. I have terrible taste in movies.

Two of these things might be helpful to you. The other thing can end up with us sharing a pitcher at the local ice house discussing the merits of the latest SciFi Original Horror movie.

I now wish to lay down the knowledge I have gained from the 1st two things.

There are 10 things I learned from living through a natural disaster in an urban setting. The first thing was:

10). Keep an Empty Laundry Basket

Despite my many attempts, I am not a big player in the rap game but if I were to do a remix with Biggie Smalls it would be titled "Mo' Laundry, Mo' Problems". I think B-I-G P-O-P-P-A would be down with this because in the aftermath of a natural disaster there is nothing more irksome than having to wear stank clothing while trying to manage your stable of hoes.

The day before Ike hit I was a whirling laundry dervish. This had little to do with preparedness and more to do with the fact that my mother was en route to ride out the storm at my house and after her Hurricane Rita stay I was NOT going to get the side eye when she had to use a towel that didn't have Snuggles the Fabric Softener Bear getting a boner over it. Never again...

So when Hurricane Ike came I had every piece of clothing, every mismatched sock, every dishrag Downy Certified fresh. Little did I know, that one thing would SAVE MY LIFE.

OK not exactly. But clean clothes did play a giant part in me not getting all stabby.

Post Ike the weather was what you would find if you were on a vacation getaway planned by your new found travel agent, Dante. In other words: Suckville, Population: you. Just sitting on the couch warranted a shirt change every three hours. There was no lounge time though. Branches needed clearing. 1st floors of houses needed mucking out. Sweat mixed with pulverized leaves and a dash of sewer backup was the hot new smell of the season. The gold at the end of the shitty rainbow was a fresh change of underpants and some clean socks.

Existence was sticky and lame. Wardrobe changes happened like we were headlining a Vegas act. We had a seemingly terminal case of the grossness throughout the day but to be able to shed the clothes we were wearing, clean off, and get into something that didn't smell like hateful bug sex was amazing. It kept me from getting the crazies and, therefore, was a good thing.

So, from then on, I keep the laundry laundered. Don't dismiss the power of a clean tube top.